At Christmas, feelings of loneliness can feel heightened.
It can feel like the whole world is celebrating, but you’ve been left in the cold.
And loneliness… well, it can feel overwhelming.
You can feel lonely in a crowded room.
You can feel lonely whilst with a close friend.
Or even in the arms of someone you love.
As loneliness is not measured by who is around us, but rather on how we connect to those around us.
This unpleasant, emotional experience can leave us not just feeling detached from other people – but even estranged from the world itself.
Although loneliness is not a mental health condition it can have a big impact on your mental and physical health.
How loneliness affects your mental health
- Low moods, a persistent feeling of sadness and an increased risk of depression
- Suffering from low self – esteem and low self-worth
- Increased stress levels
- Lack of motivation, loss of interest
- Increased anxiety, social phobias
How loneliness affects your physical health
- Difficulty sleeping
- Loss or increase in appetite
- Difficulty concentrating or focusing
- Higher blood pressure
- Increased vulnerability to illnesses
Due to stigmas and stereotypes around loneliness we tend to reject any notion that we could be lonely ourselves. However, according to the organisation Campaign to End Loneliness, it could be one of the largest public health challenges we face.
In fact, it was recorded that, in 2022, 49.63% of adults in the UK reported feeling lonely either occasionally, sometimes, often, or always.
In these statistics we can see that loneliness is an experience a lot of us can relate to. What matters moving forward is we recognise our own symptoms of loneliness so we can start to get the support we need.
Recognising when it is time to get support
Loneliness provides us a lot of downtime with our own thoughts. And, as we know, when our mood isn't good our thoughts will become a reflection of that. It's no surprise then that our thinking can become easily distorted. Perhaps even to the point where we may believe our loneliness is deserved, or somehow all our fault. Maybe we’ll even believe we were always meant to be alone and write ourselves off, self – isolating even further.
When you feel this disconnected and despondent it can be very easy to spiral. After all, feeling isolated is the perfect breeding ground for self-critical thoughts which, of course, is counterproductive when we are trying to carry ourselves through each day.
Contrary to what you may think, loneliness is not an indicator of poor social skills, or unpopularity. In fact, the main contributing factors for loneliness are said to be our environment, circumstances and, crucially, the way we inherently think and feel about ourselves.
So please remember that loneliness isn't ever warranted and is, in fact, something so very human. It is a universal emotion that many of us will feel perhaps more than once in our lifetime. If anything, it is a sign we are in need of more emotional support and, alongside that, in need of some self – compassion. To learn how to be kinder to yourself click here.
Focus on Quality, not Quantity
It’s an old saying, but you can normally count your true friends on one hand. Or even on a few fingers.
In fact, as we grow older our social circle will naturally shrink over time. There may be a host of reasons for this happening. Whether that be through retirements, illnesses, relocating, disputes or just drifting apart. Some of us may even deliberately downsize our social groups to preserve our health and wellbeing.
Whatever the reason what matters is the quality of the relationships you are left with. Relationships that offer deep, meaningful connections based on mutual trust and respect do far more to keep loneliness at bay than a casual crowd. So really nurture those relationships that bring real value into your life. A little text, or phone call, asking if a good acquaintance is free for a walk or coffee is not only a positive move for you, it's mutually beneficial. Try and take those little steps to put in place some manageable arrangements which will help bring some more smiles into your life.
Look to the Community
If you feel you haven't got the right support network of friends and family then shared interests and passions will always bring together like minded people. There is a whole host of community groups in and around Liverpool which regularly meet (please see at the bottom of this article for our list) which can offer something new and different to your life.
Of course, starting any new group can feel very overwhelming, so it’s important that you feel comfortable with doing so. Talking to current members can help give any needed reassurance, from there why not try setting yourself the small goal of attending one to see whether it’s the right fit for you. It’s important to remember that these community groups were devised with making new friends in mind, so they are perfect opportunities to meet new people in a friendly and nurturing space.
Here at the PSS Wellbeing Centres we have our own timetable filled with upcoming – and ongoing – courses and activities. Look and see if there is anything of interest to you by clicking here. Or perhaps give us a call to find out more on 0151 708 0415. Our groups serve the Liverpool community and champions inclusivity - so you’re always sure of a warm welcome!
Speak to your GP
Or any mental health professional for that matter. They’ll listen and direct you to any relevant support services and might offer additional treatment if needed.
Very often loneliness can stem from a mental health issue, like depression or anxiety, or perhaps even a physical condition like chronic pain. Having a health professional help assess and address the issues that may be contributing to your loneliness will help you navigate a clearer route forward.
Support Sites
Supports people throughout England and Wales to spend time walking outdoors, through its programmes and community. You can search for wellbeing walks near you.
Social activities for people over 75 who have little or no social support.
Provides help and support with relationships, including counselling and telephone support.
Can put a referral through to our digital and phone services team. The team will chat to you about your interests and help connect you to local, tailored services and activities, such as volunteering, befriending or social events.
Can offer short-term support to help you build your confidence, explore new interests and meet people. Call the support line on 0808 196 3651 to find support in your area.
Is a service designed to help you find activities, groups and organisations that can help you live the life you want to live.
An online directory to connect with relevant, local services and create an action plan to improve your quality of life.